marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
