he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
