apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was confusing and full of hummus
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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