Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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