i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
