I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
