I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
