Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
