I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
