So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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