Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
