office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
