She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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