My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
where am i from again
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
