nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
