i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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