I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
