fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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