I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
