CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
