I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
