It was confusing and full of hummus
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
