Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
