You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
