Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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