I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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