UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
