He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
And then he peed in my hair
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
