You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're my little dorito
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
