Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
