I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oh god the rape fog is back!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize