Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
