can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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