Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
