scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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