yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
