On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
