No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
