I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
