My Higher Power is John Stamos
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
