i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I AM VODKA MAN
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