I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
