the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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