Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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