This girl is more easily done than said...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
