if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
