Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
