I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
