i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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