so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
